30 Things To Do After Getting Engaged (or Married) Before Turning 30

30thingsgraphic 30 Things To Do After Getting Engaged (or Married) Before Turning 30

I’m sure by now at least some of y’all have seen the post 23 Things To Do Instead of Getting Engaged Before You’re 23. That’s just an assumption, but seeing as it went viral, practically overnight, I think it’s a safe one. So I’m here today to tell you that it really is okay to be married before 30!

Now, before I even get into my response to this, let me start off by saying Vanessa (the girl behind Wander Onwards, and this very controversial article) seems like a really great person actually. I am not writing this response to call her nasty names, insinuate mean things, attack her character, or even her personal beliefs! She honestly seems sweet (even though this particular post of hers does come off as being a little rude and condescending) and I think she has a great talent for writing! But I can respect and disagree with somebody, and that’s exactly the case here. Just as I’m sure some of y’all will disagree with me, hopefully you can still be respectful about it too!

I don’t know why this post really grabbed me, maybe it’s because I am engaged, I have a child, or I just believe in a woman’s right to do that without being criticized. It just did, and I wanted to respond to it.

After reading the post I was left feeling really defensive, of my relationship as well as just my decisions period. It was like being told (and then having it confirmed by a ton of anonymous strangers via comment) that I am wrong for being engaged, just because I was born after 1990.

Maybe I missed something, but since when is marriage a matter or right versus wrong?! There is no age limit for getting engaged, or married. You can be 18, or 81! The only one who has a say in the matter is you. There’s no right or wrong age to get married.

I know there are people out there who fall head over heels every time they have a relationship. I am not denying that certain people can practically run down the aisle after their first date, but those are not the people I am talking about in this post.

I am talking about the thousands of people out there who are going into this like adults (because we are, and some of us do know what we want out of life), but just so happen to be below the age of the “typical” marriage these days.

Marriage isn’t just a pretty little piece of paper, it is so much more than that. Marriage, with the right person, is a lifetime commitment. You are telling another person, “hey, I know I didn’t give birth to you so seems really irrational, but I promise I love you so much that from this day forward I am committing myself to you and our future family 1000%. No matter how mad you may make me, no matter how hard it may get, how broke we may be, how stressful children can be, I will be by your side through it all, until we die. Divorce isn’t an option”. And they’re saying “same here”. Like, that’s HUGE. And some people actually dig that.

I get the idea of experiencing life and making mistakes (especially the latter, just ask Gigi and Papa), really, I do. What I don’t understand however is why it has to be one or the other. Why won’t I experience life if I get married? Why can’t I pursue my passions and get engaged? Why does getting engaged mean I can’t experience the world?

It doesn’t.

I’ll leave you with this.

I am happy to be getting married and settling down. I don’t feel the need to be out there searching for something to fulfill me. I’ve already found it. Whether that something is in God, my future husband, my son, my friends and family, or even myself, I have already found everything I need in this life to not just get by, but to thrive and love life.

And no matter what anybody else chooses, they deserve to have the right and freedom to choose that, free of judgement and shame, just like I have.

ANYWAYS!

I’ve rambled long enough. Without further ado, here is:

30 Things To Do After Getting Engaged (or Married)               Before Turning 30!*

1. Eat a jar of Nutella, together

2. Take surfing lessons

3. Learn a new language

4. Grow together in your faith(s)

5. Buy a house

6. Start a company

7. Go on a road trip

8. Be selfless

9. Come up with a budget to set yourselves up nicely for your long future together

10. Start some holiday traditions

11. Remodel your house (or just start small and do a room!)

12. Go on a mission trip together, heck, become missionaries!

13. Run a marathon

14. Cook romantic meals for each other

15. Eat fast food when neither of you can be bothered cooking

16. Invest your money in something

17. Try a new class at the gym

18. Buy yourself something nice

19. Buy each other something nice

20. Start a blog

21. Share multiple bottles a bottle of wine

22. Volunteer

23. Make cute Pinterest projects

24. Bake your wee heart out

25. Get lost in an amazing book

26. Get lost in this amazing world

27. Start a family (or don’t, I don’t care)

28. Try a local hole in the wall place for date night

29. Pursue your passion

30. Experience love in its most beautiful form

There ya have it!

What did y’all think about the original article? Love it? Hate it? Let’s discuss it {like adults} in the comments! What’s on your pre- or post- nuptials list?

Caitlin Signature 30 Things To Do After Getting Engaged (or Married) Before Turning 30

 

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*(All of which are things J & I have done or will be doing, and can also be done by singles too! ;))

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Comments

  1. says

    Haven’t read the original article that spurred your response and my own views on marriage are constantly changing. That said, this is a lovely list of things for anyone to do! Single, engaged, married, uncategorized etc. <3
    Annabel recently posted…Goodbye 2013, hello 2014!My Profile

    • Aprons Trainers and Bibs says

      Thanks Annabel! I have no problem with anybody’s status, I just believe that nobody should ever feel shamed for it, whether they are single or married!
      xx

  2. Rachel Mancini says

    I read your entry, you have definitely brought up some really good points. I truly believe in marriage too… but it is weird, I’ve never been in love before, in fact I don’t even know what it is. So my question to you is, how do you know what love is ? how do you know that you have truly found love in that one guy you are committing to spend the rest of your life with?

    • Aprons Trainers and Bibs says

      That’s a great question, I guess I don’t really have a definitive answer for that! I thought I had been in love before I met J, but with J, it was all different. As cliche as it is, I totally believe that when you know, you know. It’s indescribable, magical, and hard. There will be fighting and bickering, but you never, ever question if you’ve made a mistake or if you should leave, because even with the fights you still love them more than life. You just know.
      xx

    • Aprons Trainers and Bibs says

      Personally, I never question it. I just know. I’ve never questioned if I am making a mistake, if I am with the “right one” or not, none of that! We’ve had some pretty rough times in our relationship, but I’ve never once thought “ehhh maybe this isn’t worth it”. But that’s just me, I can’t speak for everyone!
      xx

  3. says

    Found your post through the Sunday Funday link-up!

    Haven’t read that original article but based on your post, I’m definitely going to go have a look! I agree with you- your marriage age should be a choice, not a requirement!
    Cute blog!

    Brooke
    Brooke recently posted…The college diaries {the second}My Profile

    • Aprons Trainers and Bibs says

      Haha the age is just a satirical response to that other post! But I’m glad you still liked the list :)
      xx

  4. says

    After reading the article, I was left with the impression that the author seemed to have an assumption that marriage means no more adventures? Which I would consider, having experienced it for some year now, not to be true at all. Adventure can be had at any age and whether you are married or single. And yes, I got married at 19 so a little younger than usual, but my husband was 26 so probably pretty close to the “average” age for marriage. And in my experience doing life with someone is an amazing blessing–I’m glad I didn’t choose to say “no” just because I was a little younger than typical.
    Rachel G recently posted…5 Blog Posts I Love to ReadMy Profile

    • Aprons Trainers and Bibs says

      Exactly! I’m engaged and have my son at 21, and I wouldn’t change that for anything! It came off as a little bitter to me!
      xx

  5. says

    I agree with your opinion in that she seems very young and immature – harmless but we’re each entitled to our own opinion. I’ve also had my son at 21 and he’s 6 now, I wouldn’t have it any other way. I’m once divorced and in a relationship with the most amazing man for almost 2 years now and we’re headed towards engagement. I feel some of us are fortunate enough to have found our counterparts before others, including her, and for that we’re very fortunate. Fortunate enough to say, eat an entire jar of Nutella in one sitting with someone versus alone. Also, it’s easier to start a band when you already have another person because it takes more than one person to be a band – otherwise, you’re just a solo musician. Just sayin’ – Great post and I definitely disagree with her as well.. Have a great one Caitlin! -Iva
    AwesomelyOZ recently posted…The ‘Coarse’ of ActionMy Profile

    • Aprons Trainers and Bibs says

      I don’t think people should feel bad whatever they choose! If you want to wait, more power to you, but I feel that in today’s day and age, feminism has brought around this mindset that it’s shameful for a young woman to say she wants to be a mother and wife, not go to college or have a career.
      xx

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